Avant-garde brass solo of the gods proves we’re all fucking stupid.

Let’s get right to the goodness. This sound came out of the sky and was apparently heard from Canada to Germany.


It’s pretty cool. Articles I won’t bother googling, because this is long enough already, describe it as “evil trumpet sounds”, but it’s got some nice multiphonics and stuff going on. It sounds distinctly metallic. So what the hell is it? And why does it prove we’re all fucking stupid? First let’s quote my archenemy, Lawrence Krauss, on religion vs. science.

“I tried to be really clear that you can keep asking “Why?” forever. At some level there might be ultimate questions that we can’t answer, but if we can answer the “How?” questions, we should, because those are the questions that matter. And it may just be an infinite set of questions, but what I point out at the end of the book is that the multiverse may resolve all of those questions. From Aristotle’s prime mover to the Catholic Church’s first cause, we’re always driven to the idea of something eternal.
If the multiverse really exists, then you could have an infinite object—infinite in time and space as opposed to our universe, which is finite. That may beg the question as to where the multiverse came from, but if it’s infinite, it’s infinite. You might not be able to answer that final question, and I try to be honest about that in the book. But if you can show how a set of physical mechanisms can bring about our universe, that itself is an amazing thing and it’s worth celebrating.
I don’t ever claim to resolve that infinite regress of why-why-why-why-why; as far as I’m concerned it’s turtles all the way down. The multiverse could explain it by being eternal, in the same way that God explains it by being eternal, but there’s a huge difference: the multiverse is well motivated and God is just an invention of lazy minds.” From http://genealogyreligion.net/infinite-regress-of-turtles

OK, so let’s follow this here. God is lazy because you’re just going, “I dunno, must be God”, right? The infinite universe, even though it too, like God, is causeless, is NOT lazy, because it’s well-motivated. Yeah, but does that make it actually exist? Because I thought science was about dealing with stuff that exists. Anyway, that’s not what I came here to talk about. I came to talk about the draft …

No wait, I came to talk about the Great Old Ones gracing us with an awesome trumpet solo, shouldn’t it be flutes? We still don’t know why this thing happened. According to NASA, it’s earth noises.


Assuming this article is correct and NASA said they’re called things like spherics, happy day, because we can listen to some of those!


Notice how those sound nothing like the trumpet thing? But fine, maybe they were talking about something else. So here are some questions:

1. If this is just the earth doing its thing, why aren’t we hearing it on a regular basis?

2. Let’s assume it was radio emissions, and to simplify things, let’s assume they’re different from the ones in the previous link. That assumption explains the difference in sound. OK, why did we suddenly hear them, when they’re not something we can normally hear at all? And if we remove our assumption, why do they sound so different when we hear them normally, as opposed to when we hear them via a radio receiver?

3. Why are you just going “probably nature”, and that’s it? Like, don’t you care to investigate the damn thing?

So how does this prove we’re all fucking stupid? Because you’ll notice, nobody actually KNOWS what this thing is. So guess what? The people going “OMG, magic trumpet of God’s doom!” are doing the exact same thing as the people going “wow, nature sure is mysterious huh”? One side’s going “because God”, or aliens or what have you, and the other side is going “because nature”. Neither side really knows WHY it happened, or HOW it works, they’re just going “caused by thingy”, done. If Krauss’ point is that when we invoke God we can stop explaining, that’s precisely what’s happening here. Trumpet noise == God, who knows? God does mysterious things. Trumpet noise == earth? Well who knows why we’re suddenly hearing it and stuff? That’s nature, it’s full of mysterious things like this. The NASA people aren’t actually telling us what’s happening, they’re giving a probabilistic, i.e. educated, guess.

Now I’m not saying that means it’s really the gjallarhorn and Ragnarok is upon us. Just because NASA doesn’t know what it’s doing, that doesn’t mean the ancient aliens people DO know what they’re doing. I’m just saying, the explanation/argument is precisely the same in both cases. Nobody is being any more or less intellectually rigorous than anybody else. Suppose we investigate and find out it’s not the earth at all, but underground nuclear testing? That’s an equally scientific/materialistic explanation, but it’s different from NASA’s guess. But we like one over the other, probability again, so when NASA says “oh it’s probably that”, we nod and go “ah, case closed then”. Don’t believe me? Here’s where I originally stumbled across this, and the author is doing that precise thing, NASA’s solved it for us.


No, NASA hasn’t “solved” a damn thing, and while its explanation sure is a hell of a lot more likely than the ancient alien overlords trying to communicate with us after all these centuries, without actual investigation and working out just exactly what in the hell is going on, you may as well pick one as pick the other. Is it the aliens? How are they communicating with us, and why, and … We have no idea. Is it the earth? How are we suddenly hearing this, why now, and … We have no idea. This is why I can’t buy a lot of the whole skeptic/anti-religion/anti-paranormal thing. Because they turn around and make the exact kinds of arguments they criticize from “believers”.

I don’t think this noise is God, or gods, or spirits, or a signal of the end of the world, or aliens, or whatever other whacky paranormal explanation you’d like to chase down or come up with yourself. However, that doesn’t mean I’m going to bullshit myself into thinking “earth noises” is OK because it’s a deeply meaningful, intelligent, and satisfying explanation. With nothing behind it, it’s just as ignorant as “aliens dude”! And that’s why the Great Old Ones’ bitchin’ brass solos prove that we’re all equally fucking stupid … however much we like to pretend otherwise.