Fundie the bear!

No, I don’t know what I was thinking. And I screwed up the end. But I bet it would make a pretty bitchin’ cartoon! Here, have a transcript, it’s kind of hard to understand at points.

Hello friends. Ya know, I’m reminded everytime I’m in my tree so to
speak, everytime I’m nailed up on my cross . . yknow brothers and
sisters I do as the Good Book says, it says “take up your cross and
follow me” …

I’m reminded brothers and sisters that .. there is an important message
bein missed by every single one of you. And brothers and sisters ..
let me ask you somethin. Do you know that everytime you reject, that
you reject Jesus, that there’s, there’s a, a hellfire bein
started, a hellfire brothers and sisters. And .. I want to ask you, I
want to ask you (to consider?) brothers and sisters, what kind of a
world it would be what sort of a world do you think it would be with,
with, with .. hellfires, hell hellfires, everywhere you turn.

Now brothers and sisters, that would not be a very beautiful world
would it? Everywhere you turn seein a raaagin hellfire in the spirit
of your fellow human beings? Now brothers and sisters I would just
like to tell you that there is a way for you to prevent that!

Friends, you know who this is. It’s your good friend, Fundie the Bear.
Sayin, “Only you, and Jesus!, can prevent hellfires.” Brothers and
sisters I just wanna take a moment to let that sink in, “Only you, and
Jesus!, can prevent hellfires.” Friends, it’s your good friend Fundie
the Bear, remindin you again that “Only you, and Jesus!, can prevent
hellfires.” Thank you brothers and sisters, thank you very much.