See if you’re an idiot, in three simple steps!

Here’s a test to find out if anybody online is an idiot. It’s just three simple questions. Note: Somebody will be tempted to respond to this post with the acronym in question. That doesn’t make you clever. It just makes you stupidly obvious.

1. Do you know what TL;DR means?

If you can answer no to this question, congratulations! Jesus loves you, the Buddha regularly takes your phone calls, and the IRS probably doesn’t even know who you are. In case you want to shatter your ignorance though:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Too_long;_didn%27t_read

2. Have you ever posted Tl;DR as a response?

Yes, sarcastically and ironically count, though you get a pass to the next question. I don’t care that you’ve actually not read something you consider too lengthy, we’ve all done that. What I care about is that you’ve posted TL;DR, broadcasting this to the rest of the world. If you have, and meant it, stop right here, you’re a complete fucking idiot. How you manage to breathe needs to be studied by the government, so please, go volunteer right now. Note also, this isn’t an objection to criticizing the length of a post or such, that’s just advocating concise writing, which you can only truly do when you’ve read the writing in question.

3. If you’ve posted it, ironically or otherwise, have you ever wanted to respond to somebody else posting it, YS;FY? Do you think YS;FY should be the official response? Will you start using it and advocate that others use it as well?

If you can figure out what YS;FY is, congratulations, you’re not an idiot. If you claim you’ve posted TL;DR seriously but can still figure it out, you’re a lying bastard, pure and simple. The fact that you need to broadcast your minuscule attention span to the world means you’re incapable of the thought necessary to decode simple acronyms. If you think it should be the official response, go to it, this is the internet, and change begins with you.

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3 Responses to See if you’re an idiot, in three simple steps!

  1. Ed Heil says:

    I’ve done tl;dr for my own posts, mostly — provided a tl;dr version at the end. Sometimes completely inappropriately.Example from Reddit:In response to: Hey Reddit, what is the strangest/scariest thing you have seen or had happen to you whilst camping?"I wrote:I went camping once, and it turned out there was no internet.TL;DR there was no internet.

  2. khomus says:

    Yeah, but I’d call that, I dunno, probably ironic or something. I’m more talking about the Wikipedia essay, which is how I’ve mostly seen it used. I have determined that I can’t even be bothered to find out what you’re saying because you have written too much. Like the entry says, this is designed to stop arguments in their tracks. There’s no point in discussing whatever, because it’s too long, it’s too involved, and I didn’t even bother to find out what it was before making my pronouncement. <br/> <br/>What’s really funny is that I’ve seen it in discussions like this. <br/> <br/>Here’s a really interesting article on how Facebook determines what it shows you. (article) <br/> <br/>Somebody else: Wow, that is interesting, especially when you consider how they relate … <br/> <br/>Third person: Yeah I’ve had that happen to me, for instance … <br/> <br/>Fourth person: TL;DR <br/> <br/>If the article/discussion/whatever is too long and involved for you to be bothered with it, that’s fine. It’s the internet, you can turn it off. Your announcing that fact with TL;DR, implying that the article/discussion/whatever is at fault and that this isn’t really your choice, and that it’s the thing with the problem, that’s just a dick move. <br/> <br/>To me it says, I’m an idiot with a short attention span, and I thought I’d announce that fact to you because I’m sure you’re all fascinated with my lack of attention. It’s like if I came into a discussion of sports or cars or something, and my only comment was "too stupid, not participating". It’s not so much that I think it’s stupid, or that I don’t want to participate, but then why don’t I just not participate and shut the hell up and go find something more to my liking? <br/> <br/>What people should do is do what you did and take it to extremes. "I went camping once and there was no internet. TL;DR !internet" See how short, and possibly uninformative, you can make the TL;DR part. But I’m an asshole like that.

  3. Ed Heil says:

    Fair enough, man. 🙂

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